“I notice that when I face situations without alcohol that used to feel uncomfortable or like I couldn’t do it—for example, going on a date or an evening out with friends, or relaxing at the end of the day—they’re not nearly as bad or difficult as I had feared. So, I realized that I’m not in the fear zone anymore. Sure, I’ve needed to learn some things, but it hasn’t been too difficult.
For me, the main thing was to change the way I felt about alcohol.
One day, I was looking for something online, and I saw a questionnaire about crossing the line with drinking. Until then, I’d thought of myself as a ‘social drinker.’ That questionnaire showed me that I was in a dangerous situation—drinking in excess too often and on the way to becoming addicted.
How did I change the way I felt about alcohol? My whole adult life, I’d believed that alcohol helped me in my personal and social life. When I was with others, it made me more fun and charming. When I was by myself, it helped me relax and unwind from the tensions of the day.
While I was drinking, I had some fun moments with my partner, but it also led to some arguments. In general, my mindset about alcohol was that I was gaining something with it—good moments, relationships, acceptance—until I realized that I was losing a lot. Not seeing that I was crossing a line was part of my denial.
I remember that I’d had some moments of clarity—when I’d put empty bottles in the trash, or in the middle of the day out of the blue, or when I awoke at 4:00 a.m. with insomnia and a headache. I sobered up because of one of those moments the day after I decided to take that questionnaire. Before that, I’d said to myself, ‘I’ll drink less next week, I’ll take a break next month,’ or ‘I’m not that bad. Give up drinking?
Give up all the awesome things and social life that comes with it? Never!’
It had become part of my identity, my environment, my schedule.
When I started to realize that I could have all these things, and in even better ways, without drinking, I began to change, and I thought I could quit. I have changed since then. I’m not the same person anymore.
Enough was enough. I decided to change my life for the better.” —Matilda
Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.