“I’m a lawyer and married, with two kids in college, and a husband that respects me––essentially because I bring more money to the table than him. My job is intense, and the way I relax is by drinking with colleagues and friends after work. At the end of a hard day, and after a lot of stressful moments and introspection as to whether I did well with the cases I’m handling, I like to sit down for a happy hour and be myself.
I feel free, easygoing, excited. I love feeling like this.
The problem is that this identity lasts a short time; then a different aspect of my personality appears: controlling, demanding, hard to please, and sometimes even rude. But this second part doesn’t count. I’m always looking forward to the positive way I feel during the first two drinks; I’m addicted to that experience, even if it lasts just a short time.
I’m starting to think about becoming alcohol free, but this is the major obstacle: Who would I be if I decide not to drink? The good or the bad? Who am I really? I wonder if I’ll be a totally different person when sober. And what about my friends? Will they avoid and reject me? Will they connect with my alcohol-free personality? Maybe nobody will want to be around me if I become sober.” —Ruby
Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.