The power of failure

As I stir my coffee, I realize how powerful it is to fail during Dry January. For real. Failure is good.

Nobody likes to failure, so it’s not easy to find the positives in those moments. However, when we do it right, we are on the path to growth and progress. We often learn very little during times when everything is going well, so using failures as tools for improvement is powerful. For me, learning to embrace those difficult moments has truly transformed my perspective.

January can be a challenging month for those who decided to take a break from alcohol for various reasons:

– Over the holidays, we have been drinking consistently, which can lead our bodies and minds to develop a dependence on alcohol, resulting in cravings.

– We become accustomed to socializing frequently from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve. For some, taking a break from alcohol may mean stepping away from social events and drinking friends, potentially leading to feelings of loneliness and boredom without the drink.

– During winter, we tend to stay indoors, watch more television, and cook more often, which can highlight the absence of our usual drink.

These situations may lead to the common feeling of becoming a “miserable sober,” and many may find themselves desperately awaiting the end of January, even if they are only halfway through the month. It’s natural to look for excuses to drink again, even before February arrives. This pattern of self-sabotaging progress is common, and many people revert to their old habits before reaching their goals.

Our advice to you is as follows:

Analyze and document your experiences. Notice when, where, what, and how your moments of weakness occurred. Write down patterns—such as when you felt tempted to drink again, the locations that triggered you, the people you were with when you felt the urge, and your emotional state when you broke your promise. Understanding these triggers will provide valuable insights for the future, helping you prepare for similar situations. Recognizing these patterns is a powerful step toward disrupting and replacing them.

The power of failure Read More »

In the news

On January 3, US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy suggested that alcoholic drinks should come with warning labels like those on cigarette packs. This comes after new research linked drinking to about 100,000 cancer cases and around 20,000 deaths every year in the US. Shares of big alcohol brands took a little hit, but overall, the reaction was pretty low-key. This might be because these companies have had a rough few years even before this news, and many folks in America probably already agree with what the surgeon general is saying.

In the news Read More »

I’m questioning my drinking…

“Whether I’m stressed out, lonely, or bored, I have to start my evening with a glass of wine. It helps me cope with my divorce. It alleviates pressure about work and finances since I have my salary only on which to survive. Alcohol has also helped me to look more extroverted, fun, and interesting on the few dates I’ve had lately. My ‘wine time’ is a time to let everything go and have a good moment, even on difficult days. But when I wake up the following day, I don’t feel well, with a hangover or something that makes the night before not as relaxing as I’d hoped—and I still have the same challenges!
Sometimes I question my drinking, but after 5:00 p.m., I forget about that. I feel good for a couple of hours, and later I’m tired, but I keep drinking. I go to sleep, wake up, and everything starts again. This is my life.” —Gabrielle

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I’m questioning my drinking… Read More »

What’s wrong with me?

“I see that there are people who can drink in moderation or who have decided to become alcohol free. I can’t do that. I think I’m different. For some reason, I can’t quit or become only a social drinker. What’s wrong with me?” —Meredith

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

What’s wrong with me? Read More »

I’m not sure if I have a problem with alcohol

“I’m doing so well in my job, I’m a good mother, I have a fulfilling marriage, I think I’m fun and social. Sometimes, when I drink too much, I feel that I’m not in control and that reducing my drinking is beyond my power. Nevertheless, since nobody says anything about it—because they drink like me—I keep going as though all is well. I’m not sure if I have a problem with alcohol, so I have no clue what to do. It seems like things are good enough.” —Sharon

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

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People will judge me if I decide to take a break from drinking

“The first thing people ask when somebody doesn’t drink is if that person is a former alcoholic. Another stereotype is that the person is boring, that you’re dull and miserable if you don’t drink. There’s a kind of intimate friendship that’s based on drinking together and sharing vulnerable feelings while drinking. I feel this type of relationship takes a lot more time to develop with somebody who’s sober. Sobriety makes you look different—unattractive or less fun in some way. Some people who drink in excess are uncomfortable and freak out if you say you’re sober. They think you’re stuck-up. They expect you to drink with them and not judge how much they drink.” —Hayley

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

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I need a drink, and I deserve it

“I’m functioning normally in most aspects of my life. As long as I can maintain my job and spend time with my family, there’s no problem with my drinking. I need it at the end of the day. I’m affected by several problems and am constantly juggling so many things. Why do I have to change? I need a drink, and I deserve it.” —Elaina

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I need a drink, and I deserve it Read More »

Drinking is in my true nature

“Drinking is in my true nature. I come from a family where alcohol was part of everything—the good, the happy, the difficult, the problems.
If we had a celebration, a funeral, or anything in between, there were always drinks. There was a lot of overdrinking, but nobody was considered an alcoholic. All I know is what I learned from my family.” —Renee

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

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The next day I feel embarrassed by myself

“When I drink, I feel more inspired, but I do things I didn’t plan—even things I told myself I wasn’t going to do—or I say ridiculous things. Sometimes I think I’m creative, but occasionally I feel that I’m behaving like an idiot or, actually, like a drunk person.
Sometimes I feel I have to be funny, and I go beyond what’s appropriate.
The next day I feel embarrassed by myself and the consequences I’ve created, especially when it bleeds into interpersonal issues. In those moments, I ask myself why I do this.” —Caroline

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

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Drinking is seen as ‘normal behavior’

“Meeting up with my girlfriends means drinking together. Alcohol has such a central role in our circle that if I don’t drink, there will be a wall between me and some of them. They may feel judged; they may judge me or make me feel like I don’t belong to the group. Drinking is seen as ‘normal behavior,’ and if you don’t drink, you should have a good explanation, like, ‘I’m on antibiotics,’ ‘I’m on a diet.’” —Riley

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

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With my friends, if you don’t drink, you don’t get invited

“With my friends, if you don’t drink, you don’t get invited; you’re not part of good conversations and jokes. It’s like you’re an outsider, the person who challenges party norms, the one who embarrasses the rest of the group. They think they can’t trust you. Being included is important.
So instead of allowing yourself to be mocked or excluded by your friends, you go ahead and drink.” —Geraldine

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

With my friends, if you don’t drink, you don’t get invited Read More »

There’s a peer pressure that includes judgment if you don’t drink

“There’s a peer pressure that includes judgment if you don’t drink.
Besides, nobody wants to hang out with you—it’s like you’re not part of the group. There’s an attitude of, ‘If you don’t drink, we can’t trust you.’
So, you drink to belong. The more you drink, the more you preserve the friendships with those who drink, and the opposite: when you don’t drink, they may judge you, and they don’t invite you anymore.” Mayra

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

There’s a peer pressure that includes judgment if you don’t drink Read More »

Dating can be hard

“Dating can be hard since people may make up their minds about you based on whether you drink and think you’re boring if you don’t.
Besides, where do you go on dates? Obviously, to restaurants and bars!
The problem doesn’t end with your being alcohol free. The other part is that it can be hard to socialize with someone who drinks a lot. So, the problem goes two ways.” —Joanna

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

Dating can be hard Read More »

I thought about having a drink for the first time in three years

“I’ve worked very hard for my career and future. My spouse and I don’t have children, and consequently, we’ve had a lot of freedom. We both are alcohol free and have enjoyed being sober and the many opportunities this has given us.
Recently, I went to the doctor for my annual physical. A few days later, I got a message urging me to see the doctor again. I received shocking news that I had breast cancer and most likely needed surgery and chemotherapy. More studies were done, and the diagnosis was confirmed.
We were appalled. I felt like our future and everything I’ve worked for was going to be compromised. We returned home, and I thought about having a drink for the first time in three years.” —Julia

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I thought about having a drink for the first time in three years Read More »

I feel better, but I’m not in my happy place yet…

“I’m forty-five and have been married for almost twenty years. Our son just left for college, so for the first time since our twenties, my husband and I are by ourselves. In the past, I had a group of friends with whom I used to drink, but since I quit drinking, I don’t see them as often. I had to make a decision to take a break from that scene, because I was drinking in excess every day. I realized that I wasn’t far from being an alcoholic, and I got really scared. It was a difficult decision but worth it.
A few weeks after I stopped drinking, I started to feel good, with more energy. I slept better and lost some weight, which was wonderful!
But I was also distanced from my usual social group. There were changes in my routine with my husband, too. One of our times to connect was in the evenings; we’d sit on our deck with a couple of drinks and talk. Those were special moments. I feel much better now that I’m not drinking, but I’m lonely and bored to death. Sometimes I feel that just one drink with my friends or my husband is all I need to feel better.” —Nellie

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I feel better, but I’m not in my happy place yet… Read More »

My alcohol identity

“I’m a lawyer and married, with two kids in college, and a husband that respects me––essentially because I bring more money to the table than him. My job is intense, and the way I relax is by drinking with colleagues and friends after work. At the end of a hard day, and after a lot of stressful moments and introspection as to whether I did well with the cases I’m handling, I like to sit down for a happy hour and be myself.
I feel free, easygoing, excited. I love feeling like this.
The problem is that this identity lasts a short time; then a different aspect of my personality appears: controlling, demanding, hard to please, and sometimes even rude. But this second part doesn’t count. I’m always looking forward to the positive way I feel during the first two drinks; I’m addicted to that experience, even if it lasts just a short time.

I’m starting to think about becoming alcohol free, but this is the major obstacle: Who would I be if I decide not to drink? The good or the bad? Who am I really? I wonder if I’ll be a totally different person when sober. And what about my friends? Will they avoid and reject me? Will they connect with my alcohol-free personality? Maybe nobody will want to be around me if I become sober.” —Ruby

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

My alcohol identity Read More »

I engage in self-sabotaging by overdrinking for hours

“I’m 58 years old, and I’ve been dealing with self-sabotage related to alcohol for at least the last five years. My marriage ended painfully and has led to ongoing family issues––which I attribute entirely to myself, affecting my confidence and self-love. I tried to start a new relationship a few times, but all the men I met were losers, drunks, or narcissists. I thought, maybe I don’t deserve better.
Around seven months ago, I decided to reduce my alcohol intake to two glasses a day. But because it’s difficult for me to manage all these emotions when they reach a certain point, I forget that I’m trying to control my drinking. Then I engage in self-sabotaging by overdrinking for hours by myself or with friends, because I feel pressure to drink to fit in and be heard, especially when I want to talk about what I’m facing.” —Alyssa

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I engage in self-sabotaging by overdrinking for hours Read More »

This is my life today: stuck and unhappy

“I started drinking when I was twenty-four. I met my husband one year before that. I thought he was the man of my dreams, and he was, at least for some years. Life got busy between my husband, the birth of our first daughter, my job, and spending time with a group of girlfriends. We would discuss every topic imaginable, from politics to fashion. My drinking went from entertaining social drinking to much farther than okay. As my drinking progressed, I started drinking by myself.
Every part of my life revolves around alcohol now, whether I’m with friends or my husband, or just by myself, and I always have more drinks than expected. I keep telling myself that tomorrow I’ll do better, I’ll have just two drinks and be done for the day. But tomorrow becomes today, and the same thing happens again. I can see that I’m trapped between the anticipation of drinking and crossing the line badly, and I’m using events, people, or circumstances as excuses to drink. This is my life today: stuck and unhappy, but I can’t tolerate the idea of not having a drink again, I will lose out on all the fun, relaxation and socialization.” —Suzanne

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

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I usually drink a lot, but I’m not the only one

“I usually drink a lot, but I’m not the only one. I’m not even the worst one. Frankly, if you don’t drink, you don’t have fun. You don’t make ‘real friends’ without alcohol. Cocktails and wine bring people together. Life is complex, and I think we deserve those moments when we can chat, laugh, and relax without inhibitions. In my social circles, everybody overdrinks, but since we’re all on the same page, it doesn’t feel like we’re doing something wrong. We can’t all be alcoholics, right?” —Laura

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I usually drink a lot, but I’m not the only one Read More »

Feelings about alcohol that keep me stuck

“There are some things I love about drinking: how a simple gathering becomes a party, how I can connect with people in a deeper, more intimate, fun way. I don’t think I’m going to have these benefits without drinking.” —Cheryl

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

Feelings about alcohol that keep me stuck Read More »

I had a secret for a long time

“I’m a wife and a mother, and everything in my life looks fine, but I’ve had a secret for a long time: I’m drinking too much. I had my daughter a couple years ago. I was in a new city, without friends or family. I started attending the moms’ group in my neighborhood. Each of us brought a bottle of wine for the get-together, and by the end of the night, there was no wine left—we drank it all. I started to like this, drinking with my new friends.
My husband travels for work nearly every week and then hangs out with his own friends. I’m by myself with my daughter most of the time.
I started buying wine to drink after she’d gone to sleep. Now it’s a habit to drink every day. Some friends showed me how to mix vodka with Gatorade, so I could carry a bottle in my purse everywhere. Drinking is part of my daily routine, and it’s important to me. This isn’t wrong, in my opinion, and my friends think so, too. On the contrary, it helps to relieve the stress, exhaustion, and solitude of basically parenting alone. It’s fun and it’s fine, as long as I can manage my daily life.
My husband has been surprised sometimes and tells me, ‘Take it easy.’ He doesn’t understand that drinking is totally okay if you can control how much you drink, if you aren’t getting drunk, passing out, or blacking out every night. It’s become a point of friction between us.” —Celine

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I had a secret for a long time Read More »

I can’t imagine life being sober

“I can’t imagine life being sober. This is a real trap for me. When I awake in the morning, I know that whatever happens, I’ll have my wine time in the evening. A bad day at the office? An argument with my partner? A problem with my son? I’ll forget all of these in the evening!
More than forgetting, it’s that I won’t think about those issues anymore for today, and I won’t care about them until tomorrow.
In my circle, drinking is part of daily routines and events, both at home and out with friends. If you don’t drink, you’re not part of our group, or we think you might have been an alcoholic before or that you have a drinking problem. If I take a break from alcohol, I’ll be changed into somebody I don’t like—less chatty and outgoing—and I’ll feel like an outsider in my social circle.
Another reality that holds me back from giving up alcohol is that I can’t imagine being on vacation or celebrating and having water or Diet Coke when everybody else is drinking fabulous champagne.” —Martha

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I can’t imagine life being sober Read More »

I grew up in a drinking culture

“I grew up in a drinking culture, and I couldn’t question the routines surrounding alcohol. Fridays to Sundays was ‘party time,’ when drinking was unlimited. You just had to ‘understand how to drink.’ Life looks great in this culture; drinking times are full of fun and social interactions.
After going through so many of these weekends, I learned that what I was doing was pretty bad for me. I always imagined myself as being fun, witty, cool, and having enjoyable moments with my friends. The reality was that after the first two to three drinks, I couldn’t manage what happened next. My hangovers became more frequent and lasted longer and I felt bad about myself and my choices. Nothing happy at all.
At first I blamed the situation and the people I was with. But then I realized that I was the one idealizing alcohol. What I was looking forward to wasn’t actually real. How can a moment be perfect when you and everyone else there aren’t at 100 percent? I realized that I could actually ruin my life if I ignored the fallacies of this ‘anticipation.’ Why drink alcohol to have fun when we know that alcohol has ruined millions of lives? My life could be the next one, if I don’t change.” —Theresa

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I grew up in a drinking culture Read More »

I used to justify my drinking for different reasons

“I used to justify my drinking for different reasons, like having problems with my kids, work stress, or arguments with my husband. Day after day, something happened, and I ‘needed’ or ‘deserved’ a drink. Until one day, driving to pick up my kids, I had that moment of clarity: drinking is not because of this or that; it’s because of me. I should be in control, but I’m not controlling my drinking, and it’s becoming worse with time. Will I turn out to be an alcoholic if I continue drinking like this?” —Glenna

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I used to justify my drinking for different reasons Read More »

I drink more than what my family or friends see

“I’m going to tell you something about myself that I’ve felt ashamed of for a long time. I don’t talk about this with others. It’s about my use of alcohol. I drink more than what my family or friends see. I drink on my own before and after I drink with others. I have a shot of whiskey before I go out to feel more outgoing. When I get home, I drink more to relax, unwind, and forget my concerns.
I worry about other people discovering this about me, because they would see immediately that I can’t control myself and that I really need help. I would be ashamed if my family, friends or coworkers were to think that I’m an alcoholic. I want to be happy, but deep inside, I feel sad all the time. I’m a failure. I think I can get my drinking under control before others see how much I drink. But being ashamed makes me feel stuck, with no confidence or possibility to change things. Consequently, I keep drinking the same as before.” —Stephanie

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I drink more than what my family or friends see Read More »

I started crossing the line when my child was two years old

“I started crossing the line when my child was two years old. I’m a stay-at- home mom, and that gave me the freedom to drink during the day.
It was a difficult time for me and my marriage. My relationship with my husband was not very good, and I felt disconnected from him. I had gained some extra pounds that I couldn’t lose.
When I think of myself back then, I can see I wasn’t happy, I didn’t have any confidence. My drinking began in gatherings with other moms, but after a short time, I also started drinking by myself, and that gave me a comfortable space where I didn’t think too much.
Getting together and drinking with other moms was okay initially, but then our conversations became more gossipy and negative. It didn’t pay to be vulnerable with them. I felt they were going to judge me if I didn’t show some strength. I wanted to be respected, so it was impossible for me to talk with them about my developing problem with alcohol and to ask for help. I was ashamed about drinking way too much.
So I also gossiped and pointed out the shortcomings and mistakes of others in the group. That made me feel better about myself because I wasn’t the only one with problems. I didn’t feel ashamed and mortified about myself, because I perceived the same issues in many of them. I liked what I was doing: drawing attention to their mistakes instead of to my own drinking behavior and relationship problems.” —Kathy

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I started crossing the line when my child was two years old Read More »

I gained weight because of the amount of alcohol I drink

“The difficult story with my weight started when I was in my late twenties.
At that time I was married and had an excellent job. We didn’t want children yet, so my social life was pretty intense. Alcohol was everywhere— parties, restaurants, birthdays, holidays, even baby showers. I became a little overweight, not bad, but enough to feel disappointed with myself.
The major problem was dressing up every day. I felt that nothing looked good on me, especially skirts, shorts, or swimsuits. I felt ashamed.
My self-esteem hit the floor, and I lost joy and excitement, even though my life was good. I tried different diets, I started working out, but nothing happened. I didn’t drop a pound. Actually, very gradually, my weight was going up.
I started feeling a disconnection with my husband, that his interest in spending time with me was going down. I found out he was having an affair. I was so sad and felt betrayed. I started drinking more to cope with the situation. And, of course, the problem with my weight got worse.” —Adrienne

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

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When I drink, I’m in my comfort zone

“Spending time with my friends, with my people, at places that make me feel good, drinking my favorite wines, is something I love. I get out of my head and don’t have to worry about anything. I love to be here, in this familiar space, feeling tipsy!” —Jessica

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

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Some people don’t get why I need to drink

“I had a big blowup with my best friend Rachel. I told her how low I’ve been feeling, and she asked me what I could try doing differently, like going for a walk after work to let off some steam, instead of straight to the pub. I felt that was really insensitive of her, like she’s blaming me. She just doesn’t understand how hard things are for me right now. My boss is so mean to me. It’s not my fault. And alcohol helps me feel better.” —Lorena

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

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I need the booze to be exactly the person I love to be

“I’ve been shy since I was little. I felt I didn’t have anything funny or interesting to say, so people ignored me. My best friend was so outgoing and cool; she was always the center of attention. People followed her and laughed with her funny stories or comments. I always wanted to be like her, but the more
I tried, the less interesting I seemed, and the less attention I received.
When I was a freshman in college, I was invited to a party. That was the first time I drank alcohol. It was only two beers, but I became exactly as I wished to be—funny, extroverted, and cheerful. While I was drinking, I felt popular. That feeling lasted all night. This was the beginning of my love story with alcohol. Drinking gives me the possibility of being who I want to be. I feel that I’ll never be happy or attractive to others without a drink. I need the booze to be exactly the person I love to be.” —Annie

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I need the booze to be exactly the person I love to be Read More »

Cocktails are an ever-present component in my life, is this normal?

“I realize that drinking has an important place in my life. Cocktails are an ever-present component during days off, evenings, weekends, vacations, time with friends, dates, celebrations, and holidays. As such, drinking is not only something I do but also part of who I am. The problem is that I don’t know if I want to be identified as having this strong relationship with alcohol. Is that truly who I want to be? I’d rather be identified with other things” —Christine

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

Cocktails are an ever-present component in my life, is this normal? Read More »

I tell myself, ‘I’ll try to control it better tomorrow, for sure. I can try again tomorrow

“At the beginning of my involvement with alcohol, drinking was a social thing. I used to drink during get-togethers, parties, and some dinners at restaurants. Gradually, drinking became more important in my daily life.
I need a drink when I’m happy, or depressed, restless, or bored. Whatever my state of mind, I want a drink. But not just one. I usually drink two, three, sometimes even four, glasses of wine—always keeping in mind that I need to moderate my drinking. I think, ‘Today was complicated.
I need a glass of wine to help me unwind,’ but deep down, I know that it won’t be just ‘a glass’ but several. Then I tell myself, ‘I’ll try to control it better tomorrow, for sure. I can try again tomorrow.’” —Rhonda

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I tell myself, ‘I’ll try to control it better tomorrow, for sure. I can try again tomorrow Read More »

Instead of drinking less, I eat less than before

“When I get to the end of the day or the weekend, I feel that I need a drink. Everybody around me drinks like me or even more. I’m aware that drinking like this isn’t a good fit for my career and lifestyle. Now that I am divorced, I wish I could feel more confident to date again and find a long-term relationship. Instead of drinking less, I eat less than before, just the bare minimum. The alcohol hits me differently—badly, often—since I’m drinking on an almost empty stomach. My self-esteem feels extremely low because I can’t reduce or quit my drinking. This also makes it difficult for me to lose weight and see progress with my other goals. I feel stuck and intensely hopeless.” —Mary

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

Instead of drinking less, I eat less than before Read More »

In reality, nobody knows how much I usually drink

I started drinking in college, and it was a happy feeling. I come from a closeminded family with a lot of limitations and expectations.
Drinking freed me up. I became outgoing and popular. I had a sense of freedom that I could do almost anything, from spending hours at a bar, to singing at midnight in the street, to talking to strangers. My shyness and constraints disappeared, I could express myself in any situation, and I thought I was discovering the ‘real me.’ I met my husband at a party. We got married and started a comfortable life.
I’ve changed a lot since then. I used to drink socially, but now I also drink by myself to unwind from the pressures of the day, to avoid thinking about tomorrow, and to relax. I didn’t realize that I was developing a bad habit, that many of my daily routines were related to drinking.
Still, I was the center of gatherings with friends, girls’ weekends, parties, and celebrations, all of which were organized around cocktails. The anticipation of drinking was a happy and comfortable moment, like being in a place you know, where you feel at home.
In reality, nobody knows how much I usually drink. I cross the line almost every night. Long story short: I knew that I had a problem, and I decided to quit drinking. I’m enduring this difficult time. I’m hopeful and positive about my life changes and trying to learn what can help me in this process.” —Marni

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

In reality, nobody knows how much I usually drink Read More »

I want to take a break from alcohol, but…

“My husband and I have been married for twenty years, and we couldn’t have children. What we missed with not being able to raise kids, we replaced with an exciting connection between us. We lived in a small apartment for years while we were starting our careers. Gradually, we improved our lives until we were able to buy a beautiful house with a wonderful swimming pool. We were grateful for all of that. We started ending our day with a drink in our backyard. This was our own happy hour, when we shared our day, what we were going to eat for dinner, our expectations for tomorrow, and any reciprocal comments or advice. But through the years, two drinks were not enough. If there was something special (good or bad), we continued with one or two more drinks. Now I want to quit, because I know this isn’t good for me in the long run. But since the happy hours and drinks are such an important part of our time to connect in our relationship, how can I deal with this with my husband? I’m afraid he’ll be upset and unsupportive of the idea of being alcohol free.” —Desiree

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I want to take a break from alcohol, but… Read More »

My best friend is not supporting me

“For years I’ve had a wonderful circle of friends. We’re all from different backgrounds and have different ages and personalities, but we’ve supported and encouraged each other. I’ve been through many difficult situations, starting with my mother’s death, and most recently, a divorce. During those times, I relied on wine and my girlfriends (who all drink) to get through the stress and pain. But as time passed, and after some minor incidents, I realized I wanted to take a new approach.


When I talked with one of my best friends, Diane, about taking a break from drinking, she reacted in a way that made things even worse. It was like she didn’t want me to change, and not having her support made me doubt my ability to succeed. She brought up the topic within the group, and everybody was on her side. I felt that they didn’t approve of the new me, and that made me rethink my goal of maintaining my sobriety.

Now I know why Diane was not supporting me in my decision to become alcohol free: She was pulling me into the past to keep me in her life. She was afraid that I would drift away if I changed and stayed sober.


Her fear of losing me was guiding her actions, but how did her friendship become a selfish attachment? Only because I wanted to quit drinking and
make my life better.” —Silvia

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

My best friend is not supporting me Read More »

It’s not difficult

“I notice that when I face situations without alcohol that used to feel uncomfortable or like I couldn’t do it—for example, going on a date or an evening out with friends, or relaxing at the end of the day—they’re not nearly as bad or difficult as I had feared. So, I realized that I’m not in the fear zone anymore. Sure, I’ve needed to learn some things, but it hasn’t been too difficult.
For me, the main thing was to change the way I felt about alcohol.
One day, I was looking for something online, and I saw a questionnaire about crossing the line with drinking. Until then, I’d thought of myself as a ‘social drinker.’ That questionnaire showed me that I was in a dangerous situation—drinking in excess too often and on the way to becoming addicted.
How did I change the way I felt about alcohol? My whole adult life, I’d believed that alcohol helped me in my personal and social life. When I was with others, it made me more fun and charming. When I was by myself, it helped me relax and unwind from the tensions of the day.
While I was drinking, I had some fun moments with my partner, but it also led to some arguments. In general, my mindset about alcohol was that I was gaining something with it—good moments, relationships, acceptance—until I realized that I was losing a lot. Not seeing that I was crossing a line was part of my denial.
I remember that I’d had some moments of clarity—when I’d put empty bottles in the trash, or in the middle of the day out of the blue, or when I awoke at 4:00 a.m. with insomnia and a headache. I sobered up because of one of those moments the day after I decided to take that questionnaire. Before that, I’d said to myself, ‘I’ll drink less next week, I’ll take a break next month,’ or ‘I’m not that bad. Give up drinking?
Give up all the awesome things and social life that comes with it? Never!’
It had become part of my identity, my environment, my schedule.
When I started to realize that I could have all these things, and in even better ways, without drinking, I began to change, and I thought I could quit. I have changed since then. I’m not the same person anymore.
Enough was enough. I decided to change my life for the better.” —Matilda

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

It’s not difficult Read More »

I was using alcohol to replace him

I started dating James two years ago. We met through mutual friends, and slowly we realized our companionship was turning into something else. We had so much in common; we could talk about anything, and we frequently had good laughs because of a similar sense of humor. For the first time after my divorce, I was interested in somebody. At the same time, I felt scared of what the future might hold for this relationship.
Was it going to continue? Would it become a partnership? Pretty soon, I had an answer to my internal questions. James’s replies to my texts came later and became shorter. When I asked why, he said he was busy. This continued until the point that he didn’t answer anymore. I was desperate and had one question: What did I do wrong?
At that time, my coping mechanism was drinking by myself or with friends. I wanted to understand what happened, but James just vanished without giving me closure. If we had talked, maybe it would have been easier to move on, but as it was, the situation felt so negative and incomprehensible for me. I was using drinking to replace him, but I knew this wasn’t a healthy or long-term solution. Already, I was paying for it the next day with hangovers, headaches, and low energy.

I’m still working on forgiving, forgetting, and moving on from this painful situation. But I’m going to stop turning to alcohol. I’ll ask James if we can talk about our relationship and his reasons for ending communications and leaving. But no matter what he says, my actions and self-care are not based on him or whether he agrees to talk. I can keep going.
I’ll think, or look for consultation, about the elements that are under my control and those that aren’t. I’ll give myself time to express gratitude for the good moments I had, for the growth that the experience gave me, and accept the reality that the relationship has come to a close. I’ll seek to heal my wounds, pull my life together, and move on, understanding that alcohol would just numb me and delay this process.”

—Katie

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I was using alcohol to replace him Read More »

I swear, I’ll have just one

“I know what will happen if I have ‘just one drink’: I’m going to tell myself, ‘It’s just one drink. Surely, I’ve learned how to moderate my drinking by now. Everyone else seems like they’re having fun. Why can’t I? Why not? What’s the harm? I swear, I’ll have just one.’” —Marlene

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I swear, I’ll have just one Read More »

I didn’t have that ‘one drink.’ I felt proud and brave, a real badass

After Dry January, a close friend invited me to attend her wedding. My experience of being sober for thirty days was difficult but positive, and I was seriously considering quitting forever. That was a significant change in my thinking, since I’d always considered sober people boring.

The wedding reception was last weekend, and I had every intention of not drinking. When I could finally sit down and relax after going around and greeting friends, I suddenly thought: ‘I’ll have just one drink.’ Many acquaintances had asked me why I wasn’t drinking, and I just felt that I needed to be like them, to feel ‘normal’ on this occasion. I felt like I was going against societal norms, like I was an embarrassment by not drinking. You know how it is, people assume you’ve had a huge alcohol problem if you don’t drink at a wedding.
Well, even though I struggled with myself, with societal expectations, with that party and celebrations in general, I was able to return to my center and my decision to live alcohol free. I didn’t have that ‘one drink.’ I felt proud and brave, a real badass.” —Angela

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I didn’t have that ‘one drink.’ I felt proud and brave, a real badass Read More »

Should I drink again during my first date?

“I’m in my early thirties and single again. Almost all my friends are in serious relationships. I broke up with my ex, Randy, because we had big differences in our lifestyles and finally decided to go our separate ways. After years of drinking excessively, first during college and later with my friends during weekends at the local brewery and drinking for hours, one of the few things on which I agreed with Randy was to take a break from alcohol. It was easy to do it together, initially. But after a few months, Randy wanted to use alcohol again, and I wanted to stay alcohol free, so this led to a lot of changes for us, and eventually, we ended our relationship.
I really want to settle down with someone, so I’ve been dating again. I met Martin on a dating app. We’ve been texting a lot and have talked over the phone several times, so I feel I know him pretty well. We’re planning to meet up in person, and Martin suggested having dinner together. Dinners on the first date come with drinks, so I’ve been thinking, after being alcohol free for seventeen months, is having just one drink okay? I don’t know what to do. If I don’t drink, he might think that I’m weird or an alcoholic. If I do drink, I’d feel I don’t respect myself and my decision to be sober and that I’ll go back to square one.” —Serena

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

Should I drink again during my first date? Read More »

I thought about having just one drink to deal with this unbelievable breakup

“A mutual friend introduced me to Joseph. We ended up having really intense chemistry and started seeing each other the same week.
We both had been married and divorced before. Even though we said we didn’t want to rush because of our previous experiences, we were totally into each other. We started spending weekends together, then went on some short trips, and our casual dating quickly became a real relationship.
After six months, Joseph started to change. He was ‘busy,’ ‘tired,’ or ‘sick,’ and most of our plans had to be postponed. He delayed answering my texts, and when he did answer, he was terse or in a hurry.
Long story short: I asked Joseph what was going on and if we could talk. He said that even though we had good chemistry, he thought there was nothing else to justify continuing our relationship since we had different lifestyles. He felt our personalities weren’t a good match.
I returned to my apartment alone after that final talk. Even though I’d spent more than two years being alcohol free, I thought about having just one drink to deal with this unbelievable breakup.”
—Kylee

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I thought about having just one drink to deal with this unbelievable breakup Read More »

I’m noticing that I have more time, money, and a clear mind!

“One year ago, I fell ill and was taken to the hospital. When they released me and sent me home, I was told I shouldn’t drink for the next three months due to the medication I had to take. After a few days, I started missing drinking in the evenings. I used to sit in my garden with a drink and reflect on the day and my plans, ideas, etc.
When I considered staying sober forever, my thoughts and feelings were about how to adjust to life without alcohol, how I was going to be, and how to replace those good moments. Drinking was absolutely related to my identity and lifestyle. I realized how strong the drinking habit can be, but I also recognized that my identity certainly could develop along richer and more brilliant roads.
I feel that I’m changing as time goes by. It’s not easy, but I’m finding a new part of me that I really like. Also, I’m noticing that I have more time, money, and a clear mind the next day!” —Pamela

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I’m noticing that I have more time, money, and a clear mind! Read More »

I’m much happier than before

“Drinking was part of my identity for many years, with vodka being my partner of choice during good times and bad days. Everything in my life was connected to drinking, whether I was at home alone or with my partner, after work with my coworkers, in social groups with my dear friends and acquaintances, and during vacations, celebrations, and holidays. Not one aspect of my life was sober.
At that point, I didn’t want to think about my future. I feared what could happen if I continued drinking that way. Many of my friends already had problems related to drinking, like tremors in their hands, a nasty divorce provoked by excessive drinking, or a DWI.
When I decided to do a Dry January, I found myself missing the drink and all its related effects. It was like longing for a lost friend! It took me a while to start thinking it was a good idea to quit. Could I actually do this, not just for a month but for forever? I started to have compassion for myself and thinking that I deserved a better future. That helped me work through the process.
It took a lot of work to leave that reality and to question myself about my real identity and what I wanted for the future. It took me time to realize that it was safe to let myself think about the future because there could be good ahead, and I was worthy of positive experiences, and not just sad outcomes from overdrinking. Eventually, it became exciting to anticipate what I could be and do.
Gradually, I started finding things that motivated me and gave me purpose. The best part was that a new me was developing. I’ve become unstoppable in reaching my new goals. I enjoy my progress in this new stage of my life, and I’m much happier than before.” —Melissa

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I’m much happier than before Read More »

Becoming alcohol free liberated and redefined me and my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined before

“Becoming alcohol free liberated and redefined me and my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined before! I’m better, more open, more intentional, and of course, more fun, all because I’m clear-minded, full of energy, and happier now. I found a new way to live, I have joy and the possibility to grow and decide what I want. I’m no longer in a constant state of worry about what could happen with my life if I continued drinking as I was. I hardly recognize myself as the person I was one year ago. I had my schedule and managed my responsibilities, but my life revolved around the anticipation of my ‘reward’—my drinks—at the end of the day. Now I can focus on areas in my life that I can improve, projects for my present, goals for my future, and even spiritual things that I formerly didn’t pay much attention to.” —Grace

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

Becoming alcohol free liberated and redefined me and my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined before Read More »

Drinking affected my self-esteem, worth, and confidence to go after positive goals

“My journey from overdrinking almost every day to quitting and living alcohol free has changed me. I’d battled with alcohol since my late twenties, so this had taken a lot of my life. In all those years, I’d lost sight of my real identity and hopefulness for the future. Self-love was nonexistent—moreover, I didn’t trust myself anymore, and sometimes I hated myself for not being able to control my drinking, an addiction that slowly damaged me, my job, and my relationship with my soulmate.
I hit rock bottom after a heartbreaking experience when my husband asked to part ways. He was done with me and my drinking.
That shocked me. I felt I couldn’t continue my alcohol habit; something had to change. I faced my fears, and with determination, I started looking for help. First, I read a book. At that time, I was so ashamed of myself that I didn’t want anybody to know my secret. Reading was something I could do privately, on my own.
I began to heal and reconnect with my true identity. I continued to read self-help books in the evenings, the time I’d previously used to drink the most. I explored new and old interests, like drawing and painting, a hobby that I had once enjoyed but abandoned due to my negative habits. Reading and creating art became strong sources of comfort, self-expression, and a way to connect with and help others. Reconnecting with these passions gave me an intense sense of purpose. I feel more alive now than I have in a long time.
Learning to love myself again was a challenging but central part of my healing. Slowly, I’m letting go of the guilt and shame that I had for so many years while I drank. Drinking affected my self-esteem, worth, and confidence to go after positive goals. Practicing self-compassion allowed me to rebuild my self-love and start being comfortable with the person I am today and who I’m becoming. It’s led to being more hopeful about my future. I keep setting goals for myself as I continue transforming my life in ways that were unimaginable to me before.
Quitting the horrible habit of drinking improved my mental and physical health. I started working out again. Not only is my body getting leaner, but I also feel stronger and calmer. These days, I like to share my story, which proves that change is possible and that even in difficult situations, there’s hope for a happier tomorrow.” —Ruth

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

Drinking affected my self-esteem, worth, and confidence to go after positive goals Read More »

I like to be alcohol free!

“Finally, I saw how my drinking was robbing me of opportunities.
Gradually, I’ve been putting my life in order, including developing new routines, activities, and relationships. Now, I feel in control and like I can improve my health. I abstain from drinking, and I’ve started a diet.
I’ve already lost some weight, more than I have at any other time in my life. I feel great, full of energy. There’s no more brain fog. There are many things I can do now because of the sense of discipline I’ve gained in being alcohol-free. I’m not battling myself anymore. I was sick and tired of the self-destructive path I was on for so long. I was suffering internally without real awareness of what was going on with me. Now, I have a sense of wholeness and clarity; my mood is calm. I feel empowered to do more, to try new things. I’m starting to understand more about myself and my loved ones. I know I’m at the beginning of my journey and that there will be temptations on the path. But I’m sure about this change. I embrace this way of life and accept myself, my past, and my decision to
be alcohol free.” —Beverly

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I like to be alcohol free! Read More »

I know alcohol isn’t good for me, but I wish I could drink the way I used to

“I’m less excited about going out with friends or on a date now that I’ve decided not to drink, so I’ve been making excuses or cancelling get-togethers for no reason other than my nondrinking. I know alcohol isn’t good for me, but I wish I could drink the way I used to. I miss it. It’s amazing all the good things alcohol brings—fun moments, interesting conversations, enjoyable friendships, and romantic times. But because I crossed the line so many times, I can’t have any of these anymore. I’ve become something I feared for a long time: sober but miserable.” —Helen

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I know alcohol isn’t good for me, but I wish I could drink the way I used to Read More »

I need my wine. I can’t imagine my life without it

“I know I’m drinking too much, but it loosens me up and makes m feel better about my job and with my family. Maybe I should try not to drink from Monday to Thursday, or perhaps white wine is better than red wine, or I could try vodka for a while. Also, if I devote some of my evenings to yoga or running, my restlessness may go away. But I want to make sure I can have my drinks at the end of the day, especially during the weekends. I need my wine. I can’t imagine my life without
it.” —Lisa

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I need my wine. I can’t imagine my life without it Read More »

If I drink a lot, it’s because of the problems with my husband, my past and my genes

“Lily asked me if I had a problem, and I answered immediately: ‘What do you mean?’ She said that lately I’ve been drinking way too much. I
don’t feel like that, but if I drink a lot occasionally, it’s because of all the problems with my husband Dan. I can’t trust him; he makes me feel so insecure. He’s always in his world and doesn’t seem to need me. Also, coming from the family I did, how can I not drink? Both of my parents passed out every single night! I have it in my genes, and, you know, it’s impossible to go against what’s in your blood.” —Sally

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

If I drink a lot, it’s because of the problems with my husband, my past and my genes Read More »

I’m not an alcoholic, but some days are more difficult

“I technically drink a lot, because I have a little bit of alcohol each day during the week and then multiple drinks when I go out on Fridays, but everything’s okay. I’ve never experienced any severe consequences, like a DWI, getting fired from my job, or passing out in front of my kids. Those things could happen, but they haven’t. I’m not an alcoholic, but some days are more difficult. If I have some problems with my kids, an argument with my husband, or something at work doesn’t turn out okay, then this third drink is what I need. But it’s not every day. Today is an exception. It’s just this one time, and tomorrow I’ll drink moderately.
In the last few years, I’ve gone from drinking socially to drinking as a necessary part of my daily life. It’s also something I keep secret from everybody, including me, to be honest. My usual feelings about my drinking are:

(1) Today was rough; I need one more drink. I deserve
it; I’ve earned it.

(2) I don’t want to worry about anything else right
now; a couple of drinks will do the trick. I’ll think about my problems
tomorrow.

(3) Today was great, I need to celebrate with a drink! (4) A
drink makes any event more fun; I’ll try not to cross the line.” —Joyce

Lamberghini-West, A., & Karlen Triplett, P. (2025). Tipsy: A Woman’s Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol. US: Aysen Wellness.

I’m not an alcoholic, but some days are more difficult Read More »